Why some long-distance relationships fail and how you can fix it
June 14, 2021, 2:29 p.m.
Let’s accept this, long-distance relationships are difficult. Some couples manage to work them out and others fail at it. Even though today we have access to almost anything owing to the technologies and internet, lack of personal contact can cause certain problems.
Reasons why some long-distance relationships do not work:
- Communication starts becoming a burden - When you are in a long-distance relationship, the constant need of staying in touch can start feeling like a burden after some time. You start setting up communication schedules for every day and following these schedules can be pressurizing after a certain period of time. Slowly and gradually, you start talking only when it is comfortable for you, and this way the communication gap increases which can cause a lot of problems in a relationship.
- You change according to your environment - When you two are together in the same city, you have common interests and you hang out in fixed places. This changes when one of you moves to another city. A long-distance relationship can get difficult in this case. When you go to a new place, you develop new interests and that place has some kind of an impact on you. Your partner may not like ‘new you’ and there may be unnecessary arguments too. They may start thinking that you are not interested in them anymore or you have changed and this could bring a bad phase in your relationship.
- Lack of intimacy - Not having sex or lack of physical intimacy can also create a lot of gap between the two of you. Everybody has physical needs, and when those physical needs aren’t fulfilled on time, it can create problems for the relationship. Some people tend to cheat on their partners in this case and end up ruining their loyalty and the entire relationship. It is difficult to be physically intimate when you two are living separately in different cities, states, or even countries for that matter.
- You cannot feel the progress - There comes a time in a long-distance relationship when you feel like the relationship has reached a dead end and there is no progress at all. At this time, you just want to break up and move on. You start feeling a huge space between the two of you which is extremely uncomfortable and you cannot seem to move past it. This is where most of the relationships fail and break down.
- No specific meeting date - You fix dates to meet when you are in a long-distance relationship with your partner. Sometimes, it so happens that you cannot meet at that particular date or time and have to cancel the plan because of some urgency or sudden work that has come up. If this happens quite a few times, your partner may start feeling annoyed and this will increase the problems between the both of you. Even if the both of you are extremely understanding, there comes a time when your relationship is not able to take it anymore.
- You start growing apart - In a long-distance relationship, there are chances that due to the lack of communication or physical contact, you may start feeling that you have fallen out of love. You realize that you two are growing apart slowly and there is nothing that you are being able to do about it. You start misunderstanding and doubting each other and start picking unnecessary fights. This becomes all-time stress for you.
- You realize that you were never into it - When you move to a new place, you meet new people, check out new possibilities, and explore yourself. You feel that your relationship was a mistake. You get a feeling that you were never really into it or maybe you rushed into it and it was not a mature decision to make. You want to give yourself more chances and discover more. This is common in long-distance relationships.
How to fix these problems?
- Communicate - If there is a communication gap between the two of you and you don’t talk much often, the long-distance relationship will definitely get ruined. You need to communicate with your partner in whatever way it is possible and try to be there for them when they need you the most.
- Remind them that you love them - It can sound cheesy, but it is an important thing to do. When you are in a long-distance relationship, you should constantly keep telling your partner and reminding them what you love about them and how much you love them every day. Tell them that it will not change no matter what happens.
- Address important issues - Don’t run away from the problems you might be facing in your long-distance relationship. Address them both in-person and remotely. Talk about it and sort it out in your own way. Addressing these problems is very important if you want a healthy relationship.
- Focus on the positive part of the relationship - Don’t complain unnecessarily. Focus on what is going well and why you chose each other. Concentrate on the good and nice parts of your relationship.
- Remind yourself why you are staying apart - When you feel that you cannot do the long-distance relationship anymore, remind yourself why you are staying apart in the first place. Maybe because of your career, or your family. The reason could be anything important. Respect that reason every day.
Stay connected as much as you can. Be there for each other. Understand each other more than you usually do. Give your relationship and yourself some time. Things will slowly and gradually start falling into place. Don’t forget that you love each other and want to grow old together. Long-distance relationships are difficult but are not impossible to handle. Love with each other a little more day by day.